Amy Schumer demonstrates the 10 emotional stages that every woman goes through when trying to get that perfect beach body this summer. Thank you, Kate Rumley, For this wonderful guide.
Winter is still upon us
Stage 1: When you are still in exam / bulking mode and are blissfully unaware that its already May.
When June Hits
Stage 2: Small talk at the bar has changed to your summer plans and all the windows are covered in ‘festive chic’
Stage 3: You put tan on before trying on last years bikini….now you still look fat and have tan on your bikini.
Stage 4: Hit the gym HARD for the first 4 days and spend the other 3 nursing your body as your body hasn’t seen exercise for the past 8 months.
Think Dainty be Dainty
Stage 5: Order the vegan salad with sauce on the side… and the Spice bag at 2am in the morning.
What you think you will look like
Stage 6 : You think to yourself that after 8 days of ‘dieting’ you will now look like Margo Robbie.
Stage 7: Shred the clothes, shred the jewellery and pray ….pray HARD!
What you actually look like
Stage 8: Re-evaluate Life
Stage 9: After a couple of bottles of wine you realise that bikinis are slutty and real women wear towels….in the sea
Is it winter yet?
Stage 10: Vow to start earlier next year….and start back at Stage 1